


If My Heart Should Shatter

by anisstaranise



Series: From My Heart Flown: Collection of Drabbles [21]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Break Up, F/M, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:04:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3980836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anisstaranise/pseuds/anisstaranise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deep down he knows it’s foolish to push Iris away but it hurts as it is- knowing there is something beneath the surface she’s reserved for Barry, something that’ll never be his, or theirs- just <i>Barry and Iris</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If My Heart Should Shatter

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at writing Westhawne because I love them so much and I have a lot of emotions.
> 
> Title and lyrics from " _[Lose It All](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvk2_n8zP6A)_ by **Backstreet Boys**

_Take what you need ‘cause I can’t hold my breath,  
Say what you feel ‘cause I’ve got nothing left_.

Iris shuffles around the room, picking up whatever her arms can gather. His eyes dart from ceiling to floor, anywhere but at Iris because each time he looks at her, the burning image of **Iris West-Allen** flashes before his eyes and his heart breaks anew.

“This isn’t right, Eddie,” Iris says in a voice so small that it knocks the wind out of him. “I love _you_. I choose _you_. I don’t believe in what the future supposedly says. I believe in what’s _real_ , and that’s _us_. Would you just give us a chance?”

He doesn’t want to believe in a predicted future where he and Iris aren’t meant to be, he believes in the here and now, but he also believes that Barry is someone omnipresent in their lives, a constant shadow over their relationship, a ghost to compete with; it’s frustrating, exhausting.

He chooses to ignore Iris’ plea, opting for the cold shoulder instead. “You’re free to come and get the rest of your stuff whenever,” he mutters as he grabs his jacket.

He pretends he doesn’t hear Iris’ pained whimper as he exits the room and out the front door of what was once their home.

_I made a promise to myself last night,  
I’m going to keep it if it’s wrong or right._

\---

Deep down he knows it’s foolish to push Iris away but it hurts as it is- knowing there is something beneath the surface she’s reserved for Barry, something that’ll never be his, or theirs- just _Barry and Iris._

So he pushes her away.

_And if I lose all,  
There’ll be nothing left to lose-_

If he is being honest, he’s glad that it’s Barry that will eventually build a future with Iris. She would be loved and adored and cared for in ways he can only dream of. She would be happy, he thinks; that is all he wants for the love of his life.

 _-And I would take the fall,_  
_‘Cause knowing you are out there breathing, It’s so wonderful._  
 _It’s a chance I take, even if I break_.

So he continues pushing-  
He pushes Iris away, towards what he believes is her destiny.

_And if I lose it all, if I lose it all,  
Wouldn’t matter anyway._

\---

He stays late at the office, finishing up paperwork for another bizarre case he handled earlier (he can’t very well write ‘meta-human with the ability to control the growth of plants’ or ‘plant manipulation’ in his report). A little sense of creativity is needed to finish up the report in the most logical and plausible manner, hence the extra hours behind his desk.

A familiar, quiet shuffling approaches the bullpen and he smiles before he can stop himself. The weeks without her have been so empty; oh, how he’s missed her.

“Hi,” Iris calls out cautiously, pausing next to his desk.

He turns to her slowly, bracing for the tirade of emotions he knows will sweep over him once he lays eyes on the most beautiful woman he’s ever met; _Iris West- love of my life_ , a hushed voice whispers within.

“Hi.”

“Barry and I had our first date tonight,” she says matter-of-factly, shifting her weight from one leg to the other.

Something inside his chest cracks unpleasantly and he takes in a pained breath. But he braves through the pain, he can do this- for Iris- anything for Iris- and waits patiently for her to continue.

“At the end of the night, he kissed me,” she continues. “And everything felt—wrong. So wrong, Eddie.”

The juxtaposition of pain and delight dance in his chest, under his skin; he’s not sure what to feel.

“I don’t know how many times I will have to say this but I’ll keep saying it until- finally- you hear me, you believe me,” Iris breathes, inching closer to him. “I love you, Eddie Thawne. And I’m always going to choose you.”

He lets Iris’ words grow in the spaces between them, allows it crash into him, to seep through his pores and into his heart. _Okay_ , he thinks. Maybe- just maybe- they could love each other enough to change things supposedly set in stone.

He rises to his feet, something his body does on its own volition and closes the distance between them. “Screw the future,” he whispers, a hand cupping Iris’ face, all the words of love he doesn’t say conveyed in the touch.

Iris smiles a most breathtaking smile, one he knows she saves just for him. “Screw the future,” she echoes, bridging the remaining gap between their bodies and crashes their lips together- hungrily, fervently- every glide of his lips on hers inscribing a future entirely their own.

 _Heaven will be waiting when I fall into your open arms,_  
_I believe you’ll find me there,_  
 _You’ll find me there._

\---END

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Comments welcomed.


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